Chains Of Memories

Time

2011-06-15T12:47:00.002+08:00

Time is something very important, yet it may disappear without a trace when you don't even realise it. Heck, even ask I am writing this, time is already passing by one second by second. The thing with time is, you won't know how much time is left in your clock; by that I mean our life. Anyway, I believe that talking about how much time is left doesn't make any difference as we cannot change it. What's important is how you use your time.

Is every single second of your life spent in a right way where it is worth it? How much time do you actually waste by staring up into space, thinking and pondering on nothing at all? In my case, I try not to waste the time I have, but inevitably, I feel as if I'm already wasting my time now. Most obviously is my University student life. Being bonded with the need to perform in my results, most of the time I spent in my University Life is simply moving on through assignments and studying for my finals. Other than that, none.

The thing is, it's actually an exact opposite of my high school life I enjoyed most. I didn't bothered much with my studies but got the chance to actually mix around and learn a lot of things through experience (My academic part is still average kay!) I'd be interested in getting back into the life I had in the past, but a lot of thing is actually stopping me from doing so.

How can I still maintain my CGPA to get into first class when I graduate? With the extremely large language barriers in my University (Yes, EVERYONE speaks mandarin. Banana's like me don't stand a chance!), how am I going to "speak what I feel" when I need to? Most importantly, with the crazy workload I have and crazy strict lecturer who bans every single idea and design we do, how can I adapt? It just seemed too impossible!

Nevertheless, I believe I can adapt. I'm trying to slowly blend into societies and clubs. Blend into certain events and functions. I hope I can get some excitement in University before moving on to the working world. But yeah, I don't wish time would move on so fast. There's still a lot things I want to experience. Time is ticking, my wish is to utilize it!

Methods of learning?

2011-06-10T06:54:00.003+08:00

Was discussing this topic with my friend last night and I find it interesting to write about it over here. He claims that in learning, one does not have to actually be immersed inside the field itself, as the world nowadays are connected with so many different sources of information especially in the internet. However, I am in a different mindset that although a lot of information can be obtain, it can never replace first hand experience.

In the current world, speed is what's most important. If you were to get information fast and accurately, providing that you know how to adapt, accept, and use it, you can actually be one step ahead of everyone around you. You can be the one leading the way, rather than the one following people's footstep. If I were to only get information and insight from external or secondary source, where is the competitive advantage already? Speed and a timely action is needed, and it can NEVER be obtained from a secondary source.

In addition to that, being in the current industry and lifestyle, old tactics and strategy rarely works anymore. As I've written in the last paragraph, everyone have access to an information, so everyone would practically be able to grasp hold of the information or strategy, and with that; i believe they WILL be using it. New things and innovation needs to be present in order to gain a competitive advantage against our competitor and how are you going to do that? Lets just say that being IN the situation itself would allow you to understand things better that viewing it from a further perspective. Does it help? I believe it does.

Yes, no doubt that in this world of ubiquitous connection and networking through the internet, information can be sent across split second. Everything you want can simply be found in the internet. Like what my friend used to say, "if you don't know anything, google it" I must agree, it's true. the question is, where does these information come from? One simple word explains it, human. Human are selfish in nature, they may share but most of them would keep the best for themselves. How much can you gain from that then? You'll always be lagging behind instead of being in front if you only rely on secondary information.

To succeed, we need to constantly try to be in front. Not only in terms of your academic studies but even your general knowledge, and the ability to adapt, learn and USE what you gain from other sources. In my Advertising field, how are you supposed to help promote Starbucks if you have NEVER step foot inside the shop? Or how can you help promote Prada, Gucci or any other brand if you don't even know what is it? If you don't even know what is Haagen Daaz, how are you going to promote it? What is Prada? What is Gucci? Is it something you can eat? Are they selling the quality or the brand? No matter how much change my viewpoints and perception, this never change and I believe that it shouldn't change.

Just my 2 cents of viewpoints --

Priorities

2011-06-08T07:09:00.002+08:00

There was something that struck my mind recently by what my lecturer had said to the class one morning. She was criticising the students for not having proper general knowledge in the field they were supposed to work in the future. Words such as "You are advertising students, but you don't even know popular advertising techniques used by big companies. How are you going to work in the future?" Many people may say "That is why I'm studying this course" but perhaps to me, this isn't the case. Education in University only gives us the basic theory, but a lot of the required extra information comes from one's self, through reading and experience.

For myself, I am never able to experience this type of things as I'm just a kid who lives in a small town called Ipoh. The number of quality advertisements are just so limited that nothing can be learned by observing and experiencing, unlike people in bigger cities such as Kuala Lumpur. Honestly, I was actually doubting myself, being in a very low morale. I mean, I don't even take the LRT more than 10 times in my LIFE. If I were to be asked to create a ad in mass transit, how am I capable of doing so? I am someone who NEVER looks at brands, how am I supposed to trust in the power of brand? Honestly, it's quite impossible.

That is why I believe that I need to change. Not for the sake of changing, but for myself. For my future, and for my future competency. Since I can never experience things first hand for the next 2-3 years. What I need to do is to read and spend time creating new things instead. Thus my current lifestyle. I do not sleep late; as I tend to get worn out after class. Studying means nothing to me at that time, I rather spend time lying on my bed and read articles of the industry nowadays.

In campus, rather than wasting time chatting and walking around. I turn on my iPod and surf the net. Through social media such as Twitter, I'm linked with many articles and information that may help me in the future. Yes, I may have neglected my studies academically and also slack a lot more on my assignments. But to me, those are just grades. No doubt, it must be done in the best ways possible. But I believe that thing learnt from textbooks isn't what's important in the future. I believe in the knowledge of current trends and ways things ought to be done.

One thing I'm simply lacking of now is the chance to actually do things practically.
Doing things I've been doing when I was form 1 until form 5 which ceased since I've entered UTAR

I just hope things would go on smoothly--

What I want to be

2011-06-07T06:27:00.002+08:00

It's been a long time, I know. I went on hiatus not because I want to, but every time I wanted to write, I end up being stuck and not being able to write anything at all. Perhaps the expectation of the post is just too high and I can't simply write and post anything at all already. Everything needs to be properly revised and reviewed before being published. Now that it's early in the morning, and LoL server is down AGAIN! I guess I can write something.

Ever since I'm young, I've been wanting to be someone special to the people around me. I do not hope to be someone who stirs up the crowd with joy and laughter, nor someone who becomes the middle of attention in anything but to be someone who can inspire others. Yes, to be an inspiration to others. Thus, in every single thing I do, I try to do it in a way people never thought of doing. I try to be different, sometimes even philosophical.

Which comes to one big question.

How does other people view me at the end of the day?

Honestly, I do not know. Reality and dreams looks so alike yet they are different by miles. Even if you felt you are living in heaven now, does not mean that you really are. Also, sometimes when you think people are treating you badly, their motives may be as pure as you have never imagined. So how am I supposed to know? The heart is not something I can see and understand in definite terms.

I am someone who tries to treat everyone honestly. I say things according to what I think, and most of the time, I tend to neglect what others may feel about it but what I say is always what's inside my heart. The question is, how many people can actually accept what you say? How true is my view on life for them? How much does my words ever affect them?

Doing good is a good act, but sometimes, it may turn out into something other people despise. Something you would despise. I am trying to be someone honorable and respectable. But to fulfill so many different people's perception of life. How can I do so?

Just my 2 cents --

Meaningful quotes

2011-05-30T02:24:00.002+08:00

"Those who failed and continued trying, they'll get the experience of failure, thus getting stronger"
"Slow and steady beats the fast but not consistent"

Some quotes that kept me moving on after failing my Japanese exams and having to repeat it in the future. Honestly, the feeling is terrible. Added on with the risk of having my scholarship being cut of because of a LAN subject which have no CGPA value? It simply make things worse. However, if view at a different perspective, perhaps it's a good thing. At least now that it happened, I find things being too fragile in life. Perhaps I should start appreciating things more.

"Things that are seen are temporary, but things that are unseen are eternal - 2 Corinthians 4:18 "

Cowardly

2011-04-08T03:24:00.002+08:00

It's not that I'm indecisive when I ask you out, and decided not to go at the end
It's just that, I'm afraid of the things that will happen when I go
I'm just scared of what I'll do when I go.
I'm just a coward

A dream I never wanted

2011-04-02T06:15:00.003+08:00

Have you ever been in a dream where you actually want, but would prefer not to have it at times? I guess I just had it just now when I actually thought I can have a good rest just now. I actually went to bed at 10 and thought of waking up at 4.30AM to get my job done. Only to end up waking up at 1.30AM instead and had not slept since then. It was a dream that woke me up.

A dream of a promise I made to a person. A dream of promises and vows. There's so many things that I've promised this person, and it seems that time after time, I broke it with my own hands itself. only in the dream I see it realised. I felt so happy as I can actually do it, but to no avail, it's only in my dreams. It's no longer do-able anymore because I'm not at the right situation or position to do it anymore.

All I can do is to see from afar, hoping that you'll be alright. All I can do is just to think of ways, and that's the end of it. I can't do anything anymore. Worst of all, all I can do now is to make myself think and believe that it is the end. The end I do not want to have. Not the ending I want. Not the ending I hoped for.

Then again, what else can I do? Other than trying to be happy and contented with what I have? This week had been terrifying. I don't like a single part of it. Every single moment, you appear in my eyes and mind,

I'd thought to myself on what are you doing, yet I don't have the courage to ask you.
I found out that you are unwell, yet I have to show that I'm care for you as a friend.
I miss having meals together, yet I'm opposite your table, with my back facing you
I missed you. but what I can do is to show that I don't

However, if it makes you happy that way. If this is the significantly simple thing I can do for you that he did. I think that's the last of it that I may give. I just hope to be something to you. Something meaningful perhaps? I don't know. I don't know what I want anymore. I just hope I'm doing the right thing as of now. Not to regret it in the future.

How heavy is it?

2011-03-18T22:01:00.003+08:00

Things had been pretty pressurizing and burdening these days. High expectations, tight deadlines and extremely packed schedule of work is one of the main factors. Honestly, it's just getting tougher as the deadlines are fast approaching now. At times, the option of giving up and just getting over it would actually appear in me. However, deep down inside me I know that it isn't a way and it will not ever be a way to get things done.

Knowing that giving up isn't the way, at a point of trying so hard to pursue my goal, I'll start to wonder why am I even working so hard if there's so many easy way out? Well, perhaps it's because of who I am, someone who wants the best. This eventually gave me so much pressure and burden in everything I do because in whatever I do, I want to be better than others, be the best. Be the number 1 in everything. It was only until few months ago that I realized that it was plain mistake doing so. It happened when I felt so hopeless when I can't produce something I visualized in my mind, I can't bring out what I felt would be good and circumstances just don't allow me to do so.

It was very tiring being like that. In front of friends, family and the public, I have the need to be strong and act as if nothing is happening but deep inside me, everything was crumbling like how the "Angry Bird" crashes into those wooden blocks. Only then I realized something very important in life. Something that I should have got to know long ago so that I may actually prevent so much sorrow and pain from happening.

In everything I do, I should have just been myself. Doing the best I could is the only thing that is important. How would the outcome be, it's an extra. Competition should be with one's self and not other people and sometimes, learn to let go.

I remembered Mun Ming, my band instructor told me something very meaningful and true.

"Hold an exercise book for 1 minute, you won't feel anything at all as it is very light."
"Hold the same exercise book for 1 hour, you'll be feeling tired and feel like giving up"
"Continue holding it for 1 day, you'll be so tired that you would eventually fall"

My point is, when something is being held so tightly for such a long period of time, it actually kills a person slowly. Why not try to let go for a bit? Maybe after a good rest, things would work out better? One principles which had always followed me in my life when I'm having any trouble is 3 simple words. STOP, LOOK and GO. When you're just too tired, stop whatever you're doing. Have a rest, start looking for other ways or other approach, then go. It's just like how a traffic light functions, and it save lives from accidents. Perhaps it's a better way for you and for me.

Just some thoughts from within me.

I don't even know why am I writing this anyway

Tiring days ahead

2011-03-17T07:24:00.003+08:00

It's now Week 9 of my trimester guess what? It's once again the peak period for everyone in my course and I must say, it's really tough. So many other friends of mine who are taking other different subjects from any range of science to business to IT, everything will end by next week as a lot of the submission deadlines are on this week and next week together with their presentations. Mine? I believe mine is just the start of everything, although it started on week 1 itself. Everything seems neverending; which eventually made my 9 weeks here in Kampar so fast. Everything seemed to be moving at the speed of light and knowing myself, I can't live in it cause I don't rush things even if I have to - that's why I'm here blogging

Hopefully this doesn't happen after this Trimester :)

I'm not sure if this is a good thing for me or a bad thing. But up till now, I believe it's still a good thing. Almost every single coursemate of mine are already considered 'half-dead' especially my group of friends around. Everyone looks so dead that after one day of class, you can see the "I am dead" sign on the face, yet they need to pursue it even if they are tired. I on the other hand, slept at 9.30pm last night (I'm a lazy bum) But coming to realize that when a person is tired, it's impossible to get a job well done, even if it's done, the results won't be there.

Thus, I stand by my point to take things one at a step. Rest when it's really needed and push when my body can take it. If my body can't take it, at least have a short 1 hour or 2 hour rest in between. Perhaps that's what I can share, and what I hope would help. I remembered while I was talking to my lecturer 1 week back, she told me one thing when I told her that there's a lot of assignments up ahead and there's just so much pressure coming in. She told me this:-

"Forget about those assignments for the weekend. Go out and enjoy and play; do anything stupid and crazy which you can think of. Then come back on Monday and start working again. You'll feel less pressured when you do so"

I guess that helped me a lot. I made the decision to go back on that Sunday, although the 2 days became 1 day. Things are still smooth sailing now, and I'm clear of unwanted thoughts together with a good physical state of health. Things are right in front waiting for me right now. Well, I'm waiting for them too. Bring it on.

Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

To my friends, my coursemates who are now struggling. I just hope that I can do something to help, but this is something only you can help yourselves. The road is tough in front. Well, theorically it's never easy :) Hang on there, things will only get better!

Anyone who wants to sleep with me like this?? I'm a good hugger! =)

Disaster in Japan

2011-03-13T16:34:00.010+08:00

As you people would've known, the earthquake cum tsunami disaster is something almost everyone know now unless you don't even bother to get yourselves updated with the issues around you. I've just gone through some of the pictures and video recordings of this disaster and sometimes it just pains me to see life going away just like that. It's like "now you see it, now you don't" Everything seems to disappear in just a split of a second and there's no second chance for anyone to correct it anymore.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The loss of loved ones, the loss of belongings and friends are what pains everyone even if they are not the victim. But honestly, what pains me the most is knowing that a lot of them whose life is lost, where would there end up?

As a Christian myself, I believe in the second life; the spiritual life. It is appointed for every man to die once, and somehow, death is something inevitable, but what about after that? Is the end there right after death? If it isn't, what it is after death? There are simply so many philosophies and theories that is made to cater to this question, that no one knows the exact truth of it anymore; which leads the what I'm about to tell you people below.

If you really want to know what the truth is, I believe this would be of your interest. The Church I'm currently attending would be organizing a gospel meeting and the topics would be about "The Truth" Questions in your mind such as WHY? HOW? and WHAT is the truth is all about would be discussed and I'm sure it'll benefit you

Certainly, I do not doubt your beliefs and what you value most, but I'd urge all of you to come join me in this occasion. Everything is FREE, but what we need is just a little bit of your time. Trust me, as a Christian myself, as a friend, and as someone who cares for your soul, this is the least of what you can do for yourselves, find out about it and act on it. Details of this gospel meeting is as below. I've tried my best to hand in the invites to you, do yourselves a favour and attend; it'll definitely be worth your time

Do yourselves a favour, spend this few hours with us

TOP student? My ass

2011-03-08T01:57:00.002+08:00

"Top student". I officially hate this word. I seriously hate this darned word. I am pissed with everything that is happening already. I'm having my exam tomorrow and I'm right here, sitting down doing nuts because of some stupid problem which have been haunting me for the past 1 year. I hate myself, I hate my life, I hate every single thing in this darned world. I hate the damn label "Top student" given to me for no freaking reason. I don't ask for it, I don't want it. I'm not born here to score exam. Everything is through effort and not because I'm borned with it. So stop calling me stupid labels for no reason at all.

There are so many people better than me in this world. Why don't you people call them? In my course alone, I'm not number 1. So don't call me the top, cause I ain't that special compared to you people. You people have problems, I have mine too. I've got mine for the past 1 year and nothing's getting better. If I'm this "TOP student" I would've been solving it and living happily. But I didn't, so STOP calling me that. I HATE it.

TOP student don't have problems? TOP students can't get low marks even if they don't study? TOP student is God? Go and dream, it's no fun being at the top. Because it's due to this stupid word, that made me lose things I treasure most. I hate it, but what can I do? Can I solve it because I'm the so-called "TOP"?

YES. I'm Naive. So be it

YES. I'm in a rage now. So don't talk to me

I'd wish I have amnesia

2011-03-07T20:23:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I'd wish that I have the capability to forget things just as how I wish to do so. When I hate something, I can simply forget it with a simple snap of my fingers. There's just too much things that I want to ignore and forget about it, but I'm not able to do so. People say that I'm very absent minded; I forget things too easily and I don't remember things when it matters most. YES, I'm absent minded, but I have good memory and observation skill. When i see something, i see things as a whole and I remember that for a long period of time, it may reach up to 1 to 2 years and I can still remember the exact event that happened.

My point is, how can I reverse this? Honestly, there are just too many unwanted things in my life that I want to forget it from this instant, but can I do so? I just can't do so because I'm not a person to forget things so easily. When I dislike a particular person, it can last for a year or two, and when I love a particular person, it'll last for a very long period of time.

If bad things and bad experience that I've faced in my form 5 life in band is still clearly in my mind, and I've yet to have forgiven anyone in that case, how can I forget how much I love you and hate you at the same time? I just hope I have amnesia at this moment of time. I can forget everything and life live anew everyday

That being said, I wouldn't want that to happen
Cus it'll affect the people around me with my own issues
I hate to affect people around me with my issues

I'm not a happy kid

2011-03-07T03:27:00.003+08:00

In case you don't know, I'm a very emotional person. Someone who is very relationship based and not goal based. In any choices is needed to be made between relationship and job, relationship; be it family, friends or couple will be chosen most of the time. This is not because I'm weak, that I dont have a good EQ, or emotional intellingence. But it's just me. Honestly, if you ask me what I want in the future. Earning tons of money compared to having a happy family, being a dictator that suceeds compared to being simple and have friends around you. I'd choose the choices which are more relationship based. I believe that a good relationship is the basis of a happy life.

Thus, in everything I do. I try to be simple and not dictative. Most of the time, final decisions would NEVER be made by me. I try to be diplomatic and I try to satisfy everyone's needs and wants to the point where sometimes, I don't even know who am I anymore. Everything was alright, because I believe that it is what I want to be remembered for in the future. All I hope to get back in return, is just gratitude; for someone to show love to me, or at least not to break the inner part of me into pieces. I've never asked you to be reconciled with me, I just hpoe that I can stay nearby when I'm feeling sad and down. All I want is a little care from you, what I get is you thinking that I have other motives in doing so.

YES, I do hope that our relationship can be saved and continued, or to start from a new beginning. Knowing that the possibility is just too small, I just hope that I can be nearby you when I'm sad, cus it really helped. I just want to be nearby. I just want to be in your presence.

Why can't I have this small request from you?
I'm crushed, I'm really crushed; The pain is excruciating.
You once told me how pain it was to get hurt by the one u loved most
You don't have to tell me how is it anymore
I'm facing it right now.

It's been 11 months. People move on in less than 3 months
Mine has been 11, nothing has changed my love to you
But you treat it like it is my mistake all along
The mistake of loving you so much

Who I am

2011-03-04T21:01:00.004+08:00

A very simple question, sometimes I just doubt whether a person actually know who he or she is as a matter of fact. We've been living in a world where almost all the time, a person is actually acting on who he or she wants to portray himself or herself to the world. Even if a person is very sad, acting cheerful is the only thing they can do so that people wouldn't feel awkward when they are around him. But honestly, how long can this acting go on?

Everything has its limit and capability. Sometimes no matter how strong a person is, there is always a limit to how much a person can endure. Everything may seem normal to a person when he's able to contain whats inside but when the "Jar-within-that-person" is filled, it's either that the jar would get overflowed or it'll break at an extreme extent. Somehow, when a person is able to hang onto this situation for a longer period of time, he or she is considered a "strong" person; in which his or her EQ is so good that any emotions and troubles wouldn't affect the person.

When they are being called a "hero" in today's term, sometimes I wonder, why do we have to act so much every day and night? If lying is a sin to God, isn't acting somehow related to lying as well? Why can't everyone just be truthful towards everything they see and do? Everything seemed to need a filter before it goes out from the heart; which actually leads me to stop blogging for this brief period of time; I don't see a reason to express in my blog anymore because I simply can't express anything at all.

To be honest, I'm tired. Why should I act as if I'm so happy around everyone, when deep inside me, cries of blood comes from my heart. The pain is so pain that I don't know how long can I endure it anymore. Can't I just leave everything behind? Leave the past and move on to the future? I really want it to be like that, but sometimes the past just can't be left "just like that" for no apparent reason.

I want to be myself, but can I?
Everything I do, is just behind a mask

I'm tired of it, seriously

Do or do not?

2011-03-03T18:29:00.001+08:00

After being absent for such long period of time, I'm having this feeling of re-blogging again. I'm not sure how long am I going to be able to be consistent but I guess it's a good thing; at least I wont have to stare into space when I have nothing to do anymore. Lets just see how long I can last.

Overeating

2010-11-15T04:06:00.003+08:00

It's 4:06AM, 15 November 2010, and I'm not yet asleep. Thanks to someone who is willing to spend me for my 2nd supper of the day :) I can't imagine how fat can I be in the future.

*thinks* I dont think I have any other thing to write for today *thinks*

Yeah, I have nothing to say other than telling myself that I ate waay to much for today. If this continues on, I'm gonna get FAT. So, STOP eating mang.

-Signing off-

Gazing upon the future

2010-11-14T17:18:00.002+08:00

It's been some time since I ever updated my blog. Yeah, kinda lost the passion and feel to actually update it as I spent most of my time sleeping and lazing around my room and Kampar. Perhaps being in this town makes me a lazy arse already. Anyhow, there's nothing in particular for me to pen down (Perhaps type would be a better word) here. but just to kick start things, I'd opt to just write something here.

Nevertheless, there are a lot of things in my ponderment these days. UTAR Kampar is going to have their first batch of students being graduated already. I wonder, after 3 years. When it is actually my turn, how would it turn out? Would the friends now be the people I share the joy together? Or would I even reach that stage of graduating? What's next then?

-Signing off-

Strength to move on

2010-08-27T05:56:00.002+08:00

Day by day, things seemed to get better
Somehow, that isn't what I'm feeling at all
I felt that things are not getting better at all
I'm scared, that things had really ended

Lord, please give me the strength to move on
I do not want it to end
I don't want an end
I don't

-Signing off-

Operation: Codename - "SATWMAHAGNSL"

2010-08-26T06:08:00.014+08:00

Again, I'm posting an entry early in the morning which brings about only two deduction of what actually happened that I can actually post an entry this early which is either I'm getting more and more hardworking or perhaps, I didn't sleep at all again for the whole night. Sighs.

Yeah, I didn't sleep throughout the whole night again today and I think I really need to solve this problem today and thus I'm now taking the initiative to initiate operation codenamed as below:-

"Stay awake the whole morning
and have a good night sleep later"

In short: SATWMAHAGNSL

Yeah, there's a need for me to do it as I have loads of things waiting to be done by myself and I can't afford to screw up my biological clock again else I'll be in deep sheeeeet *lol*or hot soup*Yummy*

Thus, I'm not gonna sleep for the whole day today by getting into campus at 8am and come back just for my dinner and *crash*. Well, you'd know what happened when i write the word crash when I reach home.

Anyhow, wish me luck as I start operation "SATWMAHAGNSL" Cool name isn't it? Hahaha

-Signing off-

Reflections

2010-08-25T06:02:00.001+08:00

I love it during the night when I'm alone in my room as it is one of the best chances for me to reflect on myself.

I was browsing through the pictures taken from the UTAR Band Night 2010 just now and somehow I realised that I'm actually getting more and more introverted from day to day, which means I'm getting more and more nerdy as what I do when I'm free is mainly on sleeping, studying and online chatting.

Which makes me start to wonder

"Since when did I start to become such a nerd?"

Honestly, being a jack of all trades also known as masters of none is what I am in the past. I'd take every single job available to keep myself busy and I gain lots of experience and knowledge from doing so, yet none of them achieves perfection due to my "chin chai lah" attitude.

Now? I only see myself as an ordinary student in which no one actually knows who studies for exam and live an ordinary life and other than that, I'm just a nobody. By aiming into perfection for my academic, I've sacrificed something I enjoy most last time, performance, engaging in activities and "wasting time" doing extra things rather than academic.

I honestly wonder, where would I be in the future if this continues on. I'd definitely want to live my University life as happening as possible, but it doesn't seem to be happening at all at this stage. Should I actually step out of my comfort zone right now?

-Signing off-

Just something to feast your eyes upon, since I'm feeling handsome today

Work smart, not hard

2010-08-13T22:27:00.004+08:00

Something inspirational I would like to share with my readers (If there ARE any)

_________________________________________________________________

Once upon a time, there was a very strong woodcutter. He asked for a job from a timber merchant, and he got it. The pay was really good and so were the work conditions. For that reason the woodcutter was determined... to do his best. His boss gave him an axe and showed him the area where he was supposed to work.

The first day, the woodcutter brought down 18 trees. The Boss was very much impressed and said, "Congratulations keep it up!" Very motivated by the words of the boss, the woodcutter tried harder the next day, but he only could bring down 15 trees. The third day he tried even harder, but he only could bring down 10 trees.

Day after day he was bringing down less and less trees. "I must be losing my strength", the woodcutter thought to himself. He went to the boss and apologized, saying that he could not understand what was going on.

"When was the last time you sharpened your Axe?" the boss asked. "Sharpen? I had no time to sharpen my Axe. I have been very busy trying to cut trees."

-Signing off-

I pity them

2010-08-11T16:12:00.001+08:00

I have a heart, therefore I pity them

P/S:- Gonna make my blog a semi twitter, Dont have time for a proper post now due to assignments

Grateful??

2010-07-28T22:29:00.008+08:00

- Post deleted -

My thoughts

2010-07-16T10:44:00.003+08:00

Recently, there's just too many issues in UTAR especially on the issue of the parking at the eastgate issues, where there are rumours that they would have to start paying in order to park at the area. Well, after reading some comments and even to find out that people would start boycotting UTAR by not going to class, I felt the itch to have my say too.

Firstly, I dont see any reason to boycott UTAR by not attending class on a particular day as in my opinion, this would never solve the problem but instead, it'll make the situation worse. The first thing we must realise is that the land belongs to someone and by allowing us to park there for such a long time for free is already good, some land owners won't even let anyone "step" into their golden soil - So to speak lah

Secondly, I do believe that other than car, there are other alternative to get into campus and it's not only by driving. There are so many other modes of transport to campus such as bicycles, buses and even with what God gave you, legs.

No doubt, it is much more inconvenient to take the bus due to the vast amount of people, causing the bus to be crowded and a lot is complaining, but the thing is, when everyone stops taking bus due to its numbers, I dont think UTAR would even plan to get extra buses if everyone tends to choose other options.

Bicycle is perhaps one of the best alternative here, don't talk about the lack of parking space as there is enough space, it's just that it is inconvenient, but still, I have my class in block B and I parked at block D, what difference does it make? Just wake up early and get to campus and start exercising!

I do agree that charging Rm80 for that piece of land semi-annually is stupid, in some cases crazy. If such policy is really being done, then be a UTAR student and boycott by not parking any cars there and not by skipping class! Skipping class due to no parking seems a little irrelevant here as it doesn't match at all.

I hope that we remember the fact that we are in UTAR to study and perhaps getting extra skills for our job prospect in the future. Be grateful with what you have, fight for your rights when it's the time, but we, too must know how to fight for our rights in the right way

Just my 2 cents, hopefully, no one would hunt my head down due to this matter. But comments are welcomed, I'd like to see how people react upon this matter

-Signing off-

Sick of things

2010-07-15T19:09:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wonder, are friends actually meant to be used and nothing else? I'm sick of this kinda attitude already. Sometimes when a particular person have something, people would just start sticking nearby as if that person is your best buddy and friend.

For the past 3 sems in Kampar, no one among my group have a car and everyone was using a bicycle to move around, now that some of them start to drive around Kampar, everything changed just so rapidly that I can't see where is it gonna go in the future.

Why are people always this selfish and would only think of getting an advantage on people? Hoping that a particular person to join just because he have something extra to go on with and not because, it's him that you want to be together?

Is this world so realistic, whereby if you have no value in you, you'll end up being kicked up and down everywhere as if there's no place for you to stay? I'm seriously wondering how is it going to be already.

At least, when people tend to fetch you around, you would have the courtesy to thank people and only to thank people. But what I see now is, some don't even say a word of thanks and some thank, just for the sake of having another trip to other places again.

I'm sick of it, what the heck? A car was brought here just for the use of others? to fetch some idiots out to eat? I hate it when people assume that, "when he's here, there's a car". Can't a particular person stand on your own feet and be independent?

-Signing off-

Insufficient power

2010-07-15T09:18:00.005+08:00

I was extremely not well for the past 2 days as one of the worst sickness of my life, which I had never like struck me again. I call him or her or it, whatever you wanna call 'flu' or perhaps a more scientifically proven term is 'common cold.'

What makes me hate it is that this stupid sickness eventually affects my throat and most importantly my eyes as my eyes weren't healthy at all since I got a swell in my eye long long time ago, oh wait-.. It was just 2 years ago.

What's worse perhaps is the massive amount of assignments flowing in and when I say massive, it means MASS and it brings the meaning of, "cannot be stored in a particular location at the same time." - Credits to my mass comm lecturers for these few semesters :)

Eventually, after completing one of it (I dont even have the energy to print, so I asked Zhen Yan to do it, Thanks man!~), here am I after a 12 hours sleep from last night's 9pm till around 8.45am this morning.

I felt that I'm extremely fatigue now and I really need a break, in which I could never afford to do it now as there are so many assignments ahead of me and so many tight deadlines (Oh wait, why am I even blogging now if I'm so busy?)

It's due the point that I found out when I was in a deep sleep and rest last night along with some lecturer slides my lecturer point out on. This question was in my mind for quite some time and it goes like this, "What's creativity? Does it mean something original? or something people used that sells and works out? Does creativity mean anything when it doesn't sell even though it's original?"

As I am a pro-playsafe person in life. I believe that things should always be done professionally, and try to reduce the risk that would be faced at all cost, but does it mean that I would have to sacrifice the creativity in me? Wait, do I even have creativity in me??

Too much question, perhaps someone would answer me? Am I even in the right course now? No doubt, i enjoy this course as much as it is concerned but the thing is, am I able to live in the industry in the future? Journalism? Since I "LOVE" writing so much =)

-Signing off-

Pissed

2010-07-12T23:27:00.002+08:00

Sharing is caring. I understand that this particular phrase is something people always try to practice in their life, whereby people who believes in this would try to give rather than to receive.

Although it's true, sometimes I found out that by giving so much, what you'll end up getting is actually plain stupid as people would take things for granted and would eventually abuse whatever you actually shared.

I am now staying in my same house and room as I've always stayed and my current internet is being shared in between the 1st and 2nd floor of my house. Last year was terrible as the whole floor of mine uses something we call PPStream, taking up all the bandwidth in my house and I can't online at all.

Fine, I'm okay and at last, this year the line was perfectly fine and nice as those whom I call "PP-streamers" had left and I eventually have a very nice and smooth internet line being shared in between me and 5 of my housemates from the 1st and 2nd floor. Great! I'm lovin' it!

What happens then? A group of people from the 3rd floor came down and start using, leeching the internet line for their use. Initially, I thought it was okay as it wouldn't cause much problem except for a little slowdown of the bandwidth and thus I let them be but it seems that at this moment, this have to change.

The moment I came back from steamboat just now, hoping for a nice internet line for me to do my research for my assignments, 2 fellas from the top floor came down to leech my line again, one of them using PPS to stream stupid videos for the sake of it.

I mean, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" You'd know that it is not YOUR line at this moment as yours is UPSTAIRS, but why are you coming down and act as if it's yours? If the line on your floor have problem, ain't you supposed to ASK the permission from us first before using it? Where's the simple manners that your mother taught you since young now?

I'm good enough not to go out and start to rant on your face now and if this happens again, I'll lodge a complain in Danish house soon. I'm gonna put up a notice tomorrow, you wanna share the internet connection in MY floor, you go by the rules.

-Signing off-

When everything goes haywire

2010-07-11T01:37:00.003+08:00

Everything's been rather normal yet rough to me at the same time these days. Eventually took a full day break today from any assignments, work, problems and whatever that happened for the past 5 weeks in my studies. Went back to Ipoh and had an extreme slumber after long weeks of needed-sleep-but-never-given situations that I was in followed by an outing back in my alma mater, St. Michael's Institution for its stage play, aka drama night. Ultimately, it was good. Met up with some of my friends, mainly Louis who is gonna face the STPM terror and Muvin.

Anyhow, this isn't the exact reason why I'm blogging now at the middle of the night. Yes, I am waiting for the world cup to start.~~and see how Germany loses. Lol~~. But actually I just want to type out my feelings which is actually pent up inside me for such a long time. To make it simple, I felt as if I've lost my identity. I used to be someone with a very firm principle, this was my strength, and also my weakness. Yet when I was introduced to UTAR, I told myself. I want to be relationship oriented, I do not want to get so much of a trouble just because I want a job done. Therefore, when things are not at the right track, yes. I tolerate and just follow on with the flow. Perhaps that's something I was doing all along, but no. I'm not gonna do it anymore.

Everyone have their own principles in life. I have my own and I know that this is who I am. Everyone is unique and I am also unique in this sense. That's why I'm Jeffery Chan and not any anonymous person living on earth. I am always prone to be someone who speaks out my mind, whatever the circumstances can be and I plan to continue to be like that. Yes, things might be loosened out a bit at times to come but I just want to be myself from now onwards, no more crappy and happy-go-lucky-me anymore cause it would never work. Mark my words, never. Never would I be affected by relationship issues anymore, I'm here in UTAR to study and to study, I must do. I am of high esteem, I project my confidence in everything I do, wherever I am. Cocky as you say, this is me. But of course lar. I can't be too cocky, nanti kena bunuh lar. But I just want myself back. Jeffery, Come back!

I have high aims for my studies in UTAR for my degree.
I have lots of responsibilities behind my back at all time
I have no time or reasons and excuses to fail at all

There's no time to waste, the only time I have is NOW

-Signing off-

Life goes on

2010-07-09T14:11:00.003+08:00

When sometimes things doesn't go your way, or the people around you do not acknowledge what you are up to and your presence, there's two ways to solve this matter. Continue to pursue your belief or just leave the situation. I do not want to argue on this matter anymore, I'm leaving the picture.

-Signing off-

When your best just isn't enough

2010-07-04T06:42:00.004+08:00

This post serves as a reminder to myself. Sometimes, giving your best is never enough in life. At times, you'll definitely fall and no matter how hard you try to change that fact, nothing would actually be able to mend the situation. Was extremely down this evening (night, to be precise). and well, yeah. Things were exceptionally bad as this was a week, very rough for myself. Physically, and emotionally everything was upside down. All was in a mess and nothing was right. Sometimes, things are in situation where I myself, do not know how to handle things and was forced to actually submit to what people call, fate. Being myself, I didn't. I fought for it hard and as strong as I could, thats where I fall as hard as ever.

However, one thing I realised that when your best just ain't good enough. It's actually the time to actualy implement one simple method of solving this problem which I learnt in LTC by Martin Jalleh which actually goes like this: S.L.G. Stop, look and go. Going in front without a reason would only make the situation worse and things can't be turned back anymore, time wasted and disappointment.

Perhaps, this is the time for me to reflect on myself
To find what should I be doing and heading on

-Signing off-

Thanks, Kar Kheng for your support
I don't think I'll go through this without you
Sorry for the nuisance I had caused these days

Drop Dead

2010-07-03T00:45:00.004+08:00

It's been quite some time since I've last blogged. I hoped that I can actually blog something I'm happy about but it seems that, this blog would only be updated when shit happens in my life. I'm just someone who would only have the feeling to post and entry when I'm having problems in my life. But, on and on the same problem exist. Seems that it'll never be solved. It's been on for almost 2 months. 2 long, tiring and depressed month. And, it's not the end yet. I don't know when it will.

It seems that at the end of the day, I'm still the one being left out of the picture.
I am still the one who face failure yet, still trying to save the ego I have inside.

I feel like an idiot
Presenting my most important thing to someone else
Yet, still hoping that it'll eventually come back, where it won't
Yet, I'm blinded by this so-called "hope"
I want you to have the best

Yet I know by doing so,
I'll definitely destroy myself and everything I once had
And when I do so, you came asking me not to be so stupid

I really do not know what am I to do anymore at this point of time. Exams are practically coming next week with assignments to hand in. Yet, I'm still in this dillemma, even on thinking what to do, how to do, and can I even do it. I can't concentrate in anything I'm doing already. Yet, I need to maintain my results for my studies. I'm really tired of everything. I want it to end, yet everytime when I decide to end it, the next moment, regrets come in and I try to move back to the original point. Sometimes, I really wanted you to give response on matters, yet when the response come, it isn't what I want. What do I actually want now??

That moment when I saw 'that' particular thing
My heart broke into pieces, I don't even know how to get it back together
Yet, the next thing I do is to encourage you to go ahead
What am I even doing now?
I'm sick, really sick

-Signing off-

How right I am?

2010-06-20T03:30:00.002+08:00

The clock is ticking at 3.32am right now. In front of my computer and TV, with the match between Cameroon and Denmark. It kinda late, considering that I would need to wake up at 8 tomorrow for church worship service. Yet, things are puzzling in my mind and I can find no answer at all. I've never actually faced this kinda situation for a lot of time, or perhaps this had never happened to me before since year 2008, where shit happens all the time of the year.

I used to be an extremely care-free person, who takes things very easily. Or what we Malaysians call "chin chai". I remember very clearly, what my instructor told me last time, not to take things so lightly, and when a problem arises, solve it immedeately and don't delay. Being me at that time, I didn't changed much and thus, causing a lot of problem to the people around me, or perhaps the whole band started crumbling, because of me. Yes, because of me.

2 years later, at year 2010. I am proud to tell the world that I've changed. I'm no longer the care-free Jeffery Chan. Whenever problem arises, I put my heart and my mind to look for solutions. I try my utmost best to solve a problem as soon as possible so that it would not get ugly in the future. I know my role when problem arises, I simply know that when things happen, I should do something to prevent it from getting worse. Yet, I wonder did I ever changed for the betterment or for the worst now. Whenever I try to solve anything, it gets worse.

Where do I stand? At this point of time, I do not know what am I supposed to do anymore. Even a simple chat, can evolve into a war. Do I actually look too high up to myself? I do not know who am I anymore. Every word I say is actually offensive. I've tried to put my ego off, but what am I actually doing right now? Why am I even writing this post? Am I even trying to mend off situation now? why..

Who Am I?

Few things I hate about blogs

2010-06-16T16:56:00.003+08:00

It's been quite a long time since I started blogging few years ago
I love blogging, but everything has its pros and cons right?
Today I'm gonna write about something.
The few things I hate in blogs

1. Music players in blog which autoplaysC'mon man, when you are actually listening to your song, classical aka sleeping songs. You were listening to it attentively, feeling very relaxed. Suddenly Lady GaGa comes in with her Bad Romance and the songs comes crashing together.

"I want your love, I dowanna be friends!!"

Urrgh, Ewww .. Darn.
It's not that i hate the song, I LOVE HER.Well, everyone loves gaga right?

2. People who comment in chatbox
Well, somehow many blog readers love to type comments in chatbox in the blog. But well, comment should end up in commentbox! Chat's are for chat. So talk crap there but type entry-related post inside the commentbox. Ya know, for memories sake =)

Some creative bloggers need to do this to stop ppl from writing comment at chatboxes

3.Trolls
Well, trollz. Ya know, the trolls! Yes the big troll!

Sad, you are wrong. What I meant was the troll who comes and go just for the sake of it or the ones who interupts your FRIENDLY chat with your friends in the chatbox just to get a link to their blog. Well, pictures!

So you want sexy girls? Well, go to sexy-girls-are-not-here.com =)
Private treat from me. Oops!!~

Despite everything, there's one thing I definitely like in blog
Readers like you!

Okay, he don't seem like he's reading
But you get the idea right? Nevermind lah!~

Btw, It's my 200th post!!!
Hard way trying to reach here =)
Thanks for my readers up to this moment
(If there's any)

-Signing off-

Confusion

2010-06-10T02:07:00.003+08:00

The state I am in now is like what I wrote in my title

Confused and confused.
That's all

Everything that had been taught since young
In my school, in churches, by parents and other people
Being naive, I thought that it is the gospel truth and I'm right
But looking at the situation now, is it even true?

I remember being taught by some adults from my church saying
Alcohol intake is scripturally wrong and Christians ain't supposed to be taking it
But, what made me curious is I saw him going around with wine during Adrian's wedding
So, where's actually the truth? Is it true that as Christians, we shouldn't do so?
Now, teenagers just love going to clubs to hangout
I was also taught not to go during the past
But, how true can that be?
I don't know

Somehow, I don't know whether the principles I had up till now is right, or wrong
Can anyone kindly enlighten me about this? Will be needing it loads
Encouragements from bro. and sis. from CoC?
For those who reads of blog of course

-Signing off-

Crushed

2010-06-08T01:52:00.002+08:00

Have quite a lot of things to blog about today initially
Being in a slumber for 2 hours before dinner was what I need
After the awakening, it was all sorrow, pain and suffering
I thought that things would be better throughout time
But why doesn't it get better at all now?

Why on earth did you come to Kampar?
Why not in the morning? Why the evening?
Why staying overnight at this place?'

I have feelings too, I am human
Why do I have to understand everyone on earth
Yet, no one actually understands what I actually want?
I'm willing to step down from everything
Can't there at least some respect to me?
In Ipoh, in KL, I dont care. but why here?

After enduring everything alone and keeping everything a secret from you
Just to ensure that you would continue to be a happy person and live cheerfully
You call me silly. You ignored me
Who am I to you actually?
I'm beaten, totally beaten.

Never had I felt so bad before
Yet, the only thing I got from you
"Go home, take a rest"

One of these days, I'm gonna do something
I call that something R.I.P.
Rest In Peace

-Signing off-

Blood Donation Drive

2010-06-01T17:19:00.004+08:00

UTAR had another blood donation drive this May 2010 Intake

As a GOOD citizen of Malaysia and also a GOOD student of UTAR
I took the initiative to go for this blood donation drive to donate my blood
(I'm not donating this to vampires though, they can just suck it out from me if they want)

I dont mind sucking hot chicks blood if I'm allowed though

5 person went together to the Heritage Hall in Block A for this donation drive
Unfortunately, Wai Keong didn't want to donate his blood and Wei Hao can't donate
Left with only 3 which is Me, Chee Cheng and Kar Kheng, we proceeded as planned (did we?)
At the final stage, Kar Kheng can't donate due to some reasons with her haemogoblin ??
Sad thing to happen after snapping her finger on the "make-the-finger-bleed-machine"
Left with only two strong and mighty warrior, they fought the battle on the bed *LoL*

The mighty warrior Jeffery and

His mighty side-kick Chee Cheng

Feeling tired, the warrior, myself needs to power up myself with potions
Therefore, Milo comes into place to heal myself to regain HP
Being too tired, I'm actually fed by a good Samaritan

The Good Samaritan Wei Hao

-Signing off-

Blog Instant Traffic Booster

2010-05-30T00:00:00.001+08:00

Your blog lacking of traffic?

Of course it isn't this traffic that I meant

Vast Traffic Jam?

What I meant was blogging traffic! The visitors of your blog!
I was actually wondering how much can facebook boost my blog's traffic
Thus I gave a try on one of my latest post on my phone buying journey
Thus a post on facebook at 3.30pm ++ on that particular day
The post is very simple, quick and easy (took only seconds)
Those who never seen it before, well here it is

Two hours at the point I'm writing this5.55PM, 29/5/2010

I thought it would add by just a little bit by bit throughout the day
Well, things were different as what I predicted as it skyrocketed in a large scale
From practically "NO VIEWS", it rose by 1300% (Compared to 1 hour before)
Well, let picture do the talking now

From 1 Visitor at 13:00 to 13 Visitor at 15:00
Where's 14:00 anyway? No one at all?
Sigh, no one visits my blog
Conclusion?

You want traffic? Advertisements are important to do so
Advertise your blog in facebook! It works extremely well all the time

++Edit++
I tried doing that again at the later part of the day
Results? Another extra 13 unique visitors.
Believe it, it's proven

-Signing off-

Story of Mr Chan and Mr Ow

2010-05-29T14:49:00.004+08:00

One sunny afternoon, Mr Chan and Mr Ow went out for lunch
During the lunch, Mr Chan mentioned that he wanted to go for a lookout for phone
Thus they made the decision to roam all around Kampar for phone shops to check the price
It was at 2.30pm, where the sun is blazing hot and it's burning their skins to crisp

Places which they went?

Kampar New Town

Kampar Tesco

In which we can't find a price which matches Mr Chan's budget
Thus, they've decided to go to Old Town to check out for cheaper priced phone
How? Typical Kampar transport. By cycling! Duh. Well, the plan failed in the end >.<

They decided to continue searching all around New town for the phone hunting mission
They bargained, bargained and bargained using the skills they learn from aunties
Finally, they got a deal of RM890 in addition for some rather useful freebies
Thus, Mr Chan went to the bank, took out money and paid.
Came back with a burnt pocket and burnt skin
But Satisfaction

Ahh, my SE C905.
I iz rike you verli mache

-Signing off-

I still miss you and I still love you,
But I know the current situation
It's just that things aren't meant to be
I'll let the future worry about itself

Alone

2010-05-28T10:54:00.003+08:00

Long time since a post (minus the time-table post)

First thing to say right here is that my CSL phone is dying very soon
So much for getting myself a 200 buck phone last year in Tesco
It lasted for 1 year and is now facing numerous problem

Frequent Disconnection of line
Almost Zero line detected all the time
SIM card unreadable every few hourd
Uhh, boleh-land phone rawks!!
(minus the time I dropped it)
Will need a new one soon

I also need a new External HDD very soon
My laptop is only left out with 700+ MB now
Deleted almost everything I can delete but still
I have insufficient hard disk space in my lappie!

Bike's worning out already, rust and paint all coming off
Pedal getting faulty and tires are going flat

Conclusion which I can get from this?
I need money! money! and a lot of money!
I guess I won't get it anyway lol
Start saving Jeff, you can do it^^

-Signing off-

P/s :- Now in Kampar alone, those fellas went back to Ipoh for no reasons at all -.- Thank God I have internet line with me today. "good" housemates shifted out. PPS-free house!!

My Timetable=)

2010-05-27T12:15:00.003+08:00

Aloha!~ Nice to be back after busy days in Kampar

Now let's just see whats up for my timetable this semester

oh wait-
I haven't pay my bill yet
Sighs, Seems that I have a holiday for this new trimester

-Signing off-

If

2010-05-24T00:42:00.002+08:00

If I can go back to the past
I'll appreciate every moment we had
I'd rather be the loser in every arguements
I won't take things for granted

But I can't

-Signing off-

I'm tired

2010-05-23T08:31:00.005+08:00

I'm tired physically and mentally

I would really want a break right now
I'm just gonna explode if this continues
I need a rest long enough to heal
Yet deep inside, I don't want
Which is the true me now?
Gimme a break here

-Signing off-

Crumbles

2010-05-22T05:31:00.005+08:00

Its raining now

Very heavily and here am I
Sitting down in the living hall
With my laptop on again

Sometimes I'd really hope that miracles happens
And I really hope that I can eventually wish for a time machine
At least, I can go back to the past and correct the things I want to correct
I knew where I was wrong and what did I do wrong
Yet, I'm stuck here, can't do anything at all
I just need a chance for a change now
Why is it so hard at this stage?

We've persevered so much up till this stage
Why are you giving up on it at this moment of time?
All I want is a chance to change for the betterment for us
Yet, all I get is cruelty and harshness directly stabbed into my heart
My heart crumbles in pain and my mind is blank
Knowing not what to do anymore
Yet I can blame no one
Nobody but me

It's exactly one year when the new semester starts
I just hope that things can return to what it is before I became a jerk
Hope, is what put me through these days of pain and suffering
Hopefully, it won't be the one that starts another series of it
Sorry, perhaps I'm just to stubborn to face the situation
But I really want another try, one last try
I really hope its possible
I really do

-Signing off-

Walk away

2010-05-21T07:11:00.003+08:00

Read something quite meaningful from Rita's blog

Inspires me for this entry

"Leaving the picture doesn't mean that you're a coward, it's just a method to differentiate determination and desperation"

I wonder how true is that
Hopefully, What i have is determination
and not desperation

Having my car test later at 10. (Finally?)
Hopefully I'll pass, ain't in the right form these days
Have no confidence at all at the moment

-Signing off-

I'm a vampire

2010-05-20T05:39:00.004+08:00

I am now a certified vampire

Waking up in the middle of the night
Sleeping when everyone's wide awake
That concludes my life during break
Sleep is all I do

Too much thing is running on my mind
Sometimes, I just prefer to escape and run from it
I don't understand anything anymore
I'm now a certified vampire

But would I be a handsome one?
Like the one all girls crave to meet?

Oh wai-

I guess I won't

-Signing off-

Sem Break is coming to an end
I'm craving to meet up with you
But not in this condition

Ooo?

2010-05-19T00:00:00.000+08:00

So they want man to deliver cum?
So, am I up for the job?? I wonder how's the pay

-Signing off-

Not feeling good
Enduring and moving on
Hopefully, I can

Collaboration > Independence

2010-05-18T00:39:00.006+08:00

Went visiting MMB yesterday in a function
Function comprising of 3 bands namely ST, AMC and SMI
Something which I hoped to happen, took place
Instead of rivalry, laughter took place

Which makes me felt, happy
Organizations should be there to get to know more people, not war
In competition, rivalries occurs
In reality, everyone are friends.
That's what leads to
World Peace

Okay, enough crapping. Took some pictures on that day
Here goes:

SMI, AMC and ST -> 1Malaysia?? All Chinese though

I somehow managed to pick up a Sax on the floor too

-Signing off-

Stop me if you can
But I won't stop no matter what
I love you

Strive

2010-05-17T05:19:00.006+08:00

I thought I was holding the black jack all along

Only to find out in the end, I'm the one who is naive

I'm not the perfect guy for you now
I may not be the perfect guy for you in the future
I may not even be the perfect guy in my entire lifetime
But I assure you

I'll strive tirelessly, never-endingly and relentlessly to achieve it
You are my motivation
You are my only reason
You are my love

-Signing off-

Please.. I don't want this to happen

2010-05-17T01:21:00.004+08:00

I don't want it to end

Can we just appreciate the time we have together?
I do not want to find faults with each other anymore
I just wanna be with you
Please

-Signing off-

When life gives you lemon

2010-05-16T02:58:00.005+08:00

It's been a shitty day today

Everything goes haywire throughout since I woke up at 12
Games, Life, and even my Lunch
Went to bed again at 3 till 9+
Tried to solve issues with you
Only to be disappointed badly

Mad? 1 hour ago, yes
Now? Fortunately, no
Thanks to mainly Joel and Ian
Having you people as my friend is the greatest gift I'd received
Having to know you is also one of the best thing that took place
Perhaps the better way is to continue moving on and on
Will continue living life to the fullest for the betterment

When life gives you lemon, You make lemonade

You'll always be in my heart

-Signing off-

Fine

2010-05-15T03:09:00.004+08:00

"I wont give up until you tell me that you don't love me at all"

"Yes, I don't love you"

Okay
So that's what I get in the end
For trusting you all along till the end
Despite everything

Jac, Joel
What you said are right. I shouldn't had doubted you people and defend her

Kar Kheng
I hate you. But in the end, I still love you.
If that's what you are telling me after everything
You shattered my heart into countless pieces
You're not my friend anymore

-Signing off-

Appeal

2010-05-15T01:33:00.004+08:00

My final trimester for foundation in UTAR had been release.
For those who wants to know, view it on the picture below

Good results, but my 2nd trimester's results pulled down my CGPA
Can't get full scholarship but only half
Gotta find a way to squeeze out the money for other part of it

Well then
What's the title "appeal" for?

I realised a lot of people are trying to appeal
Appeal for reinstatement for study
Appeal for better results on a subject
Appeal for a second chance to continue studying

Me?
I'm just trying to appeal to you
For another chance though I know
A lot of chance had been given

Still,
I wanna appeal for another chance
Just one more chance

-Signing off-

Sigh

2010-05-13T23:48:00.005+08:00

Sometimes I wonder what am I doing these days

I'm tired of acting just to fulfill my supposed role
I don't know what are you thinking anymore

Gave me hope and the next moment, u threw it away
I'm tired. I really am
Just tired

What do you want from me?
I'm speechless already, speechless

-Signing off-

Confused

2010-05-13T03:47:00.003+08:00

Ya know, sometimes I'm confuse

When I talk to you, knowing that the way things are going, the feeling sucks
When I don't do so, knowingly, the feeling that I'm facing sucks also

Either way, both of the things I'm doing sucks
Everything these days seemed to be wrong and wrong
I need to wake up at 6.45 later and I'm still awake
Great! Good! Congratulations!

Emo? No, again. No.
If you think that reading this blog pisses you off
Or you think it's pointless doing so, I ain't forcing ya
It's just that you don't understand the feeling of losing someone you dear most.
And you just don't know what you heart feels at all times
You are what I call a heartless (Kingdom Hearts)

Want a hug? Nay, my hugs are only for you

-Signing off-

Hmmmmm

2010-05-13T00:16:00.003+08:00

One trend I realized about blogging from the visitors list in my blog from nuffnang

Sad post brings more readers!!
I shall be sad from now onwards for more inspiration for sad post
Short one here =)

-Signing off-

Guess you didn't see after all

I won't forget

2010-05-12T03:27:00.014+08:00

Despite everything discussed today with both of you

That doesn't change anything at all of both of us
Call me naive, dumb or perhaps stupid
I still want to walk front and forward

Again
It's not that I can't forget about you now
It's just that, I don't want to forget about you

I don't want to
.
.
Can we be together once again?
.
.
-Signing off-

I'll let God be the judge
See, and I shall rewind everything
See not, and I'll leave at it is

How are you doing?

2010-05-11T23:00:00.008+08:00

Dear whoever it may concern,

How are you now? It's been a very long time, at least for me since we last communicated. Days and nights I've been wanting to at least send you a message to see if you are okay. It was not being carried out however due to some personal reason and I'm always trying to imagine and think of the possible answers to my questions.

Up till this day, to be honest. I'm still having a very big question mark in my head. Doubts and worries, whether I've actually took the right action and made the right choice. I'm not sure at all of the consequences behind everything I've done for these days, as I don't even have a chance to see you at all. Nevertheless, after going through your profile just now. I'm convinced I've made the right choice.

However pain is it, I'll endure. As long as you are happy that is.
Sorry for me being so naive and stubborn for not listening to you
I just feel that this is one of the way, although I'd never want this to happen

- Jefferychan -

-Signing off-

I'm not lying

2010-05-11T04:03:00.003+08:00

I'm not lying when I tell you that

I love you
I want to be with you
I want you to be happy
I don't want to see you hurt

I'm also not lying when I tell you that

I can handle things on my own
I can forget about you anytime I want
I can live my life as usual without you
I will disappear from your life forever

The only time I lied is when I tell you that

I will forget you from that day onwards

I was lying,
I didn't want to do it.
I'd never want and will never put you in the past

It's not that I can't, it's just that I don't want to and will never do
I won't give up on you, not at all in my life

-Signing off-

Delete

2010-05-10T01:50:00.002+08:00

Day 5

Looking back at my recent post
I realized how naive am I hoping for a change
I think it's now time to face reality rather than fretting over the past

Having quite a bad day these days I guess
Everything just ain't going the way I want or hope it to be!

Although I would be disappearing from your life like that
Nevertheless, some things just won't be forgotten just like that
The time we spent and the joy we had together
I shall cherish it forever

Low Kar Kheng
I love you

-Signing off-

Hopefully, no more ~~emo~~ sad postings anymore from me. Havta move on anyway

When people gets overly bored

2010-05-09T22:48:00.003+08:00

When people gets overly bored about life
They'll go around giving pranks on other people

Best example.

PS:- Exam results were never out

And the replies.
I think you can't see but well, just for the sake of it

+++Extra post+++
By Ms Chan =)

Got owned and pawned totally >.<

-Signing off-

Day 4

2010-05-09T06:11:00.002+08:00

Day 4

I slept in the living hall today
Wasn't feeling good today, so I didn't want to wake up while taking a nap just now
Only to be awakened by a dream
I hear your voice
But I couldn't see you

I tried, I tried
Only to find myself awakened
It will never come true anymore
Everything is eventually done in vain

This feeling sucks
Didn't sleep since then and going to church later
Again, I'm not emo =)

-Signing off-

Cognitive Dissonance

2010-05-09T00:00:00.001+08:00

Day 3
Ever wondered what the title actually meant?
How does it feel, when your mind ask you to do a particular thing

Yet,
Your heart and deep inside you, it was never even in your mind?

After you took this step in which your mind ask you to do
Is it even possible to struggle through the pain and suffering of it?
I want, I hope, and I pray that I can do it
And this would be my only way

Withdraw myself
Separate myself
Consume myself

That's the only way
Sorry

-Signing off-

Emo post? Naah, I ain't emo
Just a little gloomy perhaps, just a little

If

2010-05-08T00:00:00.001+08:00

Just a simple song that my bro got hooked on and I like it too
Represents on how I feel on things currently

Lyrics Translation
If I should go, should I go close to you?
How would you think about it? so I am fallen-heartened.
If you should leave, should you leave me?
How could I let you leave? continuously I am scared.

the reason that I ,Being fool, am only but watching you from a distance
is because maybe I am worried about your heart
probably to turn my feeling away
and so becoming more alienated between us

the reason that I ,Being really fool, cannot say 'I love you'
is because maybe I am afraid of the pain
and the saddening days expected after falling in with....

If you should come, should you come to me?
How I should do? really I have no idea.

the reason that I ,Being fool, am only but watching you from a distance
is because maybe I am worried about your heart
probably to turn my feeling away and so beco ming more alienated between us

the reason that I ,Being really fool, cannot say 'I love you'
is because maybe I am afraid of the pain
and the saddening days expected after falling in with....

the reason that I ,Being fool, cannot say 'I love you'
is because maybe I am afraid of the pain
and the saddening days expected after falling in with....

credit:asterionlhs@soompi

-Signing off-

Duhz

2010-05-07T00:00:00.001+08:00

Day 2

Life sucks, but still living
If things are going to be like this, let it be
Don't have the strength to continue this dumbness anymore

Going out tomorrow and everything would be alright
Ok, I'm cheating myself
It wont

Quote of the day: By my mother
"Why do your eyes seemed like you are crying when you are not?"

-Signing off-

Rage

2010-05-06T02:19:00.002+08:00

Hello everyone

I'm back again to blogging
Don't really know if this would be a good way to start my blog again but as the title above,
Rage - What is it?I've been told since young by my father that my anger and impatience would end up causing me a lot of trouble in my life and well, I believe it did once again yesterday. As I got into a serious rage and caused the people I loved to be hurt again. From a simple small matter, I made it worse and it ended up as a large havoc, something I'd promised not to happen again.

Well then, who is to blame for this matter?
Can I put the blame on the situation?
Being so tired, yet trying to stay awake just to accompany you and yet getting thrown and bombarded with things which I don't like? Frustration that bad things were coming one by one to the extent that I can't endure it anymore?

Perhaps I can't, everything was from me afterall

Perhaps, I ain't the perfect person for you in the end
Sorry isn't even usable anymore at this stage

-Signing out-
This is Day 1
I wonder how many days are there left?

Reason?

2010-02-21T21:54:00.002+08:00

Whats the point of a blog if I can't express myself in it anymore? I used to be able to write out anything I want in this blog last time but now, it seems that this wont happen anymore. Therefore, I've made the decision from a long time being spent thinking. And my decision is

I'm closing this blog down.
Thank you for my reader's up to now.

-Signing off-
Forever

Goodbye!~

2010-02-06T03:19:00.004+08:00

.Taken during Mr. Joe's Final Lecture in Kampar.

I'm gonna leave Kampar later today!~ I'm not sure if I should be happy though, kinda adapted to the lifestyle here. Cycle around freely without an control by anyone unlike in Ipoh, to get out, I need a car, and sadly, I have no license and thus, I can't go out! really gonna get stucked in my home for the rest of the days in Ipoh. Anyway, was supposed to be sleeping now but somehow or rather my biological clock don't allow me to do so, and since Kimiro ask me to update blog, here am I writing a post to bid farewell with Kampar for tomorrow.

Really gonna miss a lot of things here. This trimester was somehow meaningful and also stressful due to the study factor. Having my final paper later and hopefully, things would turn out fine and my results would still be able to qualify me for the scholarship. Gonna miss the Mamak's here. Haji Ghany's Maggi Goreng Triple Pedas!~ Urrgh. Gonna miss my bike, although she's getting older and older, the colours are coming off very soon and her gears are practically spoilt. Well, shall see her next trimester and see if I can do any repair on her =).

Well, I'm practically crapping here. Shall review my 2nd trimester here when I get myself back to Ipoh I think since I would be SUPER free during that time. For those who wish to date me, do contact my manager. If you know who my manager is. Perhaps some fellas by the name of Amornrad Rattanakthada would know who my manager is =)

-Signing off-

Of hardwork and sweat

2010-02-03T02:16:00.002+08:00

Reflecting back on my formula to success post. I think things are really proven now. Somehow, I felt that sometimes, it's now what you do, or how you do a job which would give the results. But it's the chance you get and whether or not you grasp hold of it. This trimester's final exam is seriously a pain in the ass. Only after two papers and thing are already so tough. Comparing with the paper for the trimester before mine, it's as if one paper comes from cambridge and another from secondary school. A lot of my friends are already in the midst of failing the subjects.

Me? I'm not that bad

But what about what I'm aiming for?

Somehow, I feel that I can no longer reach towards it
I can feel it flying away from me

Readers, please do believe. Sometimes, it's not what you do and how you do it that matters. It still depends on some luck and whether you are given the chance or not. I wonder what would happen tomorrow during the mass communication examinations. Hopefully, I'll pull it through.

-Signing off-

Exams

2010-01-31T22:46:00.002+08:00

Exam starts tomorrow. Well, enough said. I think I've did enough.

Lets just see if it can allow me to achieve my goal this time

Pray for me
Hope for the best!

-Signing off-

Frustrated?

2010-01-30T02:07:00.008+08:00

Hello fellow readers.

Just a simple post from an email from my dad. It's really meaningful and I want to share this with my readers. Specifically to those who needs this encouragement.

Sometimes we ask ourselves

What did I do to deserve this?

Why does God let these things happen to me?

Here is the explanation...

A daughter tells her mother how everything is going wrong for her;

She probably failed her Math exam

Her boyfriend just dumped her for her best friend.

In times so sad, a good mother knows just the thing to cheer up her daughter

“I make a delicious cake.” In that moment the mother hugged her daughter and walked her to the kitchen, while her daughter attempted to smile and while the mothe

r prepared the utencils and ingredients, her daughter sat across from her at the counter.

Her mother asks, “Sweetheart, would you like a piece of cake?”

Her daughter replies, “Sure,mom, you know how I love cake.”

“Alright...” the mother said, “Drink some of this cooking oil.”

Shocked, the daughter responded, “What?!? No way!!!

“How about a couple of raw eggs?”

To this the daughter responded, “Are you kidding?”

“How about a little flour?”

“No, mom, I’ll be sick!”

The mother responded,

“All of these things are uncooked and taste bad, but if you put them together,

they make a delicious cake!”

God works the same way. When we ask ourselves why does he make us go through these difficult times, we don’t realize the what/where these events may bring us. Only He knows and he will not let us fall. We don’t need to settle for the raw ingredients, trust in Him... And see something fantastic come about!

God loves us so much

He send us flowers every spring

He makes the sun rise every morning

And anytime you need to talk, he is there to listen

He can live anywhere in the universe

But

He choses to live in your heart!

-Signing off-

Exams: Of Failures and Success

2010-01-28T17:43:00.002+08:00

Exams are coming in like, 4 days?! Yet I'm still not prepared to face the examination this time. Sighs, comparing with the last trimester, this trimester is proven to be much tougher (Perhaps it's me getting lazier). I guess I really need to rush things up else I won't be able to maintain a 3.9 CGPA this trimester anymore, or perhaps, to make it constant at a 4.0? Hahaha, to be frank, it's been a long time since I nerd so much already but the satisfaction counts at the end. I really don't know what would be happening in 4 days. We shall see how it goes. Hmmm, interesting.

Unfortunately, my coursework marks ain't gonna be good this time. Screwed up my webpage design mid term test, screwed up press conference and screwed up business report. Darned.

Just a short post to remind myself that exam is coming soon again and also to prevent myself from sleeping. You know, I'm a retarded sleeper. Perhaps better than the sleeperlogist in my class last time. And also in UTAR =)

-Signing off-

A Christian, I am

2010-01-27T02:36:00.004+08:00

It's now 2.37a.m. and it just rained just now. Situation in my room is dark and gloomy and with the addition of the rain just now, it's rather quiet and peaceful. Perhaps thats why, I started thinking a lot again. I read through a lot of blogs and also some post of my friends in facebook of things especially on their "First time clubbing" and stuffs like that. That makes me actually wonder a lot and sometimes, it's kinda weird how things are progressing these days.

Myself, being raised from my family and also religion, things are somehow different compared to the ones my friends are having now. Well, for those who actually know me and deeply about my religion, I believe you people would understand what I mean. What the world are doing now, I do it not and for that, a lot of people would consider me a "coward" or something like that because I don't go for activities like that all the time and I would be sticking onto other "boring" activities. Tonight, I'm actually wondering how long can I hold onto this principles of mine.

As you would know, I'm now studying in Foundation that would lead me to the Mass Communication field, or perhaps the media field which would be more or less related to the business field. To be frank, I'm worried of the future especially on my future lifestyle. Everyone can see, the culture of the society and what they see in their eyes. Can I actually "be myself" despite these differences? Or perhaps, would I end up to be some kinda "outcast" as compared to the ones out there now?

How far would I go if I continue on to be like this? Closing myself to all these so-called "negative-factors" whereby sometimes we don't even know whether it's really negative. To be frank, I do not know. Perhaps I should really reconsider where am I actually heading now.

Alcoholic? Clubs? Smoking?

Of course, everyone is curious of it the first time
And curiousity kills

I'd rather not try

-Signing off-

Last day of lecture week

2010-01-22T08:33:00.004+08:00

Walla!~~

I've once again finished another semester of my life in Foundation and I would be having my study break (which is never a break) next week before the exams. Nothing much to be written here, just to briefly remind myself that exam is coming soon and therefore to

STOP WASTING MY TIME LIKE THIS!!!

Anyway, some pictures to show what the preparations of exam had brought me to:-

Excessive cam-whoring

Disappearance of my food supplies

Sleeping sessions with books on my bed

Things to be remembered?

Leaving of Mr Joe in Perak Campus and soon, UTAR.

Gonna miss you <3

P/s :- I'm not gay

-Signing off-

Independency

2010-01-21T01:35:00.003+08:00

Independence. Does it brings the meaning of the so-called 'Merdeka' in Malaysia. In some context, yes but what I'm focusing on is the capability to take care of ones own self. Frankly, I'm getting pissed off with one single thing that keeps happening these days. The world nowadays are cruel, and definitely, none can live without being independent and self-relying but definitely, sometimes help and empowerment from other people are needed. This is 100% true. No one can live alone.

But facing the same problem for every day? WTF? Whats with it? Can't stand up on your own feet and walk your own way? Fine. But still, why continue to mess up with people's life?

Just a short post to express how irritated am I to you. If you know who you are. And stop going around sulking for the things which you decide and not others. You choose your path, you deal with it. Stop messing up people's life because of your problems, or perhaps. Motives.

-Signing off-

Sometimes
It's not that I do not want to help

But it is you that do not want my help

Really do not know what you want

Back

2010-01-13T22:25:00.004+08:00

Yes, I'm back! After missing for quite some time. Well, to be frank, I'm really freaky busy these days with so many assignments due on the same date, week and a bunch of presentations after that. But well, I guess it ended and there's only one thing left now which is my finals. Hopefully, I'll be able to maintain my 4.0 CGPA .. Although I don't think its possible now. Hahah, judging from some of my coursework marks, I think I screwed my coursework. Lemme try to remember my mid term marks I got this sem

Webpage design: 38/50

Marketing: 27/30

Management: 39/40

Sociology: ??/50

Business: ??/40

Mass Comm: 42/50

I think I had a slight decrease especially in my webpage and mass comm. Urrgh. Well, pray hard for the assignments and reports marks, releasing next week.

Things that happened these days? Well, birthday celebrations I supposed.

Zhi Yong's aka Monkey's bird day

-PICTURE-

Yi Xiang's bird day and Suzanne's uh, birthday (can't use bird day)

-PICTURE-

Can't see picture?
Well, don't blame me, blame my housemates
Stealing all my line until I can't upload a simple 68kb photo.

-Signing off-

Mistakes

2010-01-02T02:53:00.002+08:00

First of all,
Happy New Year. I bet most of you would be so happy that you were out the whole night.

As for me, New Year wasn't happy but instead sorrowful. Should I call it Sorrowful New Year instead? I still remember, 31st December 2009 was a rather happy day initially and that was the day I came back to Ipoh too. Everything was going on smoothly and everyone was happy. I was happy, my family was happy. You were happy too until the phone call came. The moment you told me about that, I'd know that this would be a very terrible new year.

Well, it turned out as expected. Since that message is being sent to me, you don't reply my messages no more up till 010110 came by. But still, it was a message filled with sadness, sorrow and pain. Knowing the source of the problem, I decided to take a move to solve the problem. Instead, I got blamed for causing the problem to worsen. Sometimes I do not understand the logic of it anymore. I really do not know the logic behind your actions. Everything happens because of a "he" and because of the "he", we've been having so much problems lately. I really do not know where do you belong anymore. Are u owing him so much that you have to submit your happiness to him? And yeah, you're gonna be like going after me after u read this message again.

I am tired, I want to end everything right on this particular New Year. To be frank, I've thought of it for a lot of time and a very long time each time. I tried to resist, knowing that it's hard for you too. But how am I to resist if the same incident happens everyday? Alright, I think I've ranted enough. Back to the story.

Today, I practically gave up on everything. Despite everything, I still think that I am the one sticking out of nowhere and forcefully push myself into this particular picture. If I was not in the picture, the pain wouldn't be inflicted on you. You would be having a significantly happy life. Not the life in which you've faced for Christmas, and now the New Year. I definitely don't want you to face it again during Chinese New Year. No, not anymore. If there's anyone who should be facing this, it would be me.

I know, this actually happened a lot of time and it seems that it's so repetitive that no one even bothers to care about it anymore. But then, I blame myself for being not persistent enough and return back to square one at the end of the day. Sincerely speaking, I really hope'd that I can actually be with you. That is my sincere wish and want. But I think that it's his need. With that, I guess giving up would be a good decision. He would be happier, you wouldn't be pressurized by him and end up feeling bad the whole day anymore. As for myself, well. Perhaps I should be facing this since I'm the one sticking out of nowhere at the first place.

Sometimes I do wonder, if he didn't exist. Things would be much easier and problems wouldn't be happening so much these days. Sighs, if there are so many "if" in the world, I wouldn't have to be facing so much now. Starting this relationship "game" is a mistake. Everything since semester 1 was a big mistake. I'm sorry. I've never been this daring to do this especially in this blog before but I think I would be doing it now. Wouldn't have the chance to do it anymore I guess. I love you, Low Kar Kheng. I know that things are impossible at this stage anymore but everything I said to you, did for you are from the deepest ocean inside my heart. I can't bear to see you being hurt again. I'm sorry

P/s :- Whoever that reads this, please don't talk about this matter ever when u see me, I do not want to hear about it, ever. My blog's content, keep it to the blog.

Realization

2009-12-01T12:22:00.001+08:00

I just realized something after so long being in the dark

I'm not fit to be loved, nor to even love

Don't understand? Nevermind

I've said enough

-Signing off-

I've lost my light, my dream.

2009-11-25T14:00:00.000+08:00

There are phrases in games in which I think is very inspirational and I can remember 2 phrases which was actually in my mind all along. Think I'm gonna share with my readers (If there are any) today about it.

Still searching for the light? Well, don't lose sight of it - Auron - Kingdom Hearts II

The most important thing is to embrace your dreams - Angeal - FFVII :Crisis Core

Unfortunately, I'm here without any light and dreams right now. Somehow, I tend to lose hold of whatever I had for the whole Sem-1. The pressure is too much and I seriously felt that I can't handle it anymore. Sometimes, I just feel like giving up once and for all but knowing of the things I've done and the people who put their hopes up for me. I simply can't just do so. But, I can't find the reason anymore

Everyone sees me as someone 'special' in whatever I do now. I don't like it
I used to take my education in a very fun way. Now, it evolved into a burden

I really want to go back to the old me. Whereby I can actually be the same as last time. There are people who actually told me not to think so much as I'm just thinking too much for the past 1-2 months. I've tried, and I think I failed in it badly.

-Signing off-

Searching for the light

Sharing is caring, NOT

2009-11-15T22:17:00.005+08:00

Sharing and caring.

A phrase that everyone loves to say especially when they want to get something from you.

I believe I don't need to explain much about it since most of you would've known about it

But, I believe that sometimes, this phrase is overused.

Simply because somethings can't be shared and should NOT be shared between two users

It's always best to get things cleared sometimes but I do not know why it is so hard.

Sighs, I dont even know what am I typing now.

Perhaps one day, things would be made clear and thus I can actually sleep.

I can't bear it trying to sleep every night but ended up thinking what is happening on the other side.

What am I to do?

-Signing off-

I seriously don't know what am I heading towards anymore

Things I thought I can handle ended up the opposite way I wanted
Getting more and more aggressive and hot headed these days.
Please, help me

Hmmm....

2009-11-15T00:28:00.002+08:00

Learnt a new word today.

It's called

Snob

Don't know what it is?
It's very simple.
You just have to look at me and you'll see this word

Something in which I want to change but I don't think it'll ever change.

Just a post to release my weird thoughts
Thoughts in which I can never control

-Signing off-

Adventures of Lamerz

2009-11-12T11:10:00.006+08:00

This is the story of a 3 lamers who went to Kampar to visit another 4 lamers. Shall we see what's happening in this lame adventure? Anyway, the credits are to Mr. Lamey. Lets enjoice the story

__________________________________________________________________

Yesterday, a trip was organized by lameey to kampar ..
Together, Lamey brough Lame fat and Lame lai together with him.
Lame sleeper came n meet us outside when we arrived,
Together we went to lame thin's room

At lame thin's house,
Lame sleeper wanted to scare him and ask Lamey, Lame fat and Lame lai hide under the starirs
But the 3 of them =.= at Lame sleeper
Lame lai started to say WoW when he say lame thin's toilet
Then lame fat sat at lame thin's jacket
Lame thin went O.O
Lamey tried to get some food
And lame thin also went =.=
Lame sleeper always hit lame fat chest
After 1~2 hours of chat at lame thin's room
Then lame lai suddenly talk bout hair leg
Lame fat start showing off his leg
Lame sleeper then go ENOUGH!!!

As the lamers are going back
Lamey notice there r 7 bicycle 2 motorbike and 1 car
Lamey also noticed there is a very mini bbq by the house
Lamey noticed that all the houses r the same

Lame sleeper decided to show off his room
So.. he asked us to go to his place
Lamey entered his room
And started to play the most famous game in the world..
Left 4 dead

At lame sleeper's room
He had a fishing rod
Lame Lai was wandering wat he do with that coz there is no place to go fishing
So we assume that lame sleeper try to use that fishing rod to hook women
lame fat then show us a dumb choir at youtube
Lts related to a complain
Lamey came just to meet lame thin n lame sleeper
But lame bone was there
So 3 of them came with us
To eat at some chinese restaurant

At the entrance, lamey realise the entrance to the place is retarded
With small place to enter
There come great mind
Where lamey starts to enter with his "pro" skill of driving

Finally they reached,
The 6 lamer sat down
And slowly order food
After that
Food came
And all the lamers started to eating
After finish eating
The lamers start to pay bill
Where lame fat dunno how to count
Then after tat
Lame thin took the rm5 and split with lame bone
Then
Lamey wanted to buy kacang
So he took at rm4 to buy
But
Lame sleeper n Lame thin share RM10 and bought so bloody 3 big packets
Then all the lamers entered lamey's car
Lamey drop them back to their prison
Lame thin's prison first
Then lame bone's
Finally lame sleeper

Lame hao cannot attend the reunion that day -Sadz-

-Signing off-

Feel?

2009-11-11T20:53:00.002+08:00

Day after day

Time pass away

And I just can't get you off my mind

Nobody knows ... I hide it inside

I keep on searching but I can't find

The courage to show ...

To letting you know ...

I've never felt so much love before

And once again I'm thinking about

Taking the easy way out ...

CHORUS:

But if I let you go

I will never know

What my life would be

Holding you close to me

Will I ever see

You smiling back at me

How will I know?

If I let you go ...

Night after night

I hear myself sayin'

Why can't this feeling just fade away?

There's no one like you

You speak to my heart

It's such a shame we're worlds apart

I'm too shuy to ask

I'm too proud to lose

But sooner or later I gotta choose

And once again I'm thinking about

Taking the easy way out ...

Once again I'm thinking about ....

Taking the easy way out ....

Out of nothing

2009-11-11T00:46:00.009+08:00

Each day ends with memories
Memories in which people remember
But during this rainy night

Nothing, I plan to remember

But the past, I shall

1st June 2009
The start of something new
In UTAR, Kampar.

Monday was the day,
10.00am was the time
Here, I'd actually met you.

And thus starts my story
Joy and sorrow alike.

Day by day,

classes by classes.
Trying to get to know you
Was it by chance or by fate?
You were in my assignment group

There, I thought there was hope

Up till the moment of truth

Cruel facts are discovered

I was just too late

Sad was I, indeed
Disappointment enveloped all

There was no light to be seen
But it was then, I've decided to create
The ray of light of my own
I call that,

HOPE

It was hope that endured all

It was hope that kept me going
It was hope that brought joy

It was hope that gave me a path
But it was hope that gave great disappointment

Time passes by
We got closer to each other
And thats the maximum point

I can't hold onto my feelings any longer

In the end, I confessed everything

Happy or sad
It turned out not as bad
It was a two-way relationship
The ray of light I once had tend to shine

But I didn't know
it was the ray of warning

Warning of pain

Warning of sorrow
Warning of sadness

Warning of suffering

Ignoring the warning was my decision
Thus, the consequences was for me to bear
Everything that happened all along

It's all because of me

I'm sorry

-Signing off-

Zzzzzz

2009-11-10T21:44:00.003+08:00

Love is not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly

I wonder if it's actually true? Frankly, I disagree with this. I believe I failed in this and I'll only believe in things in which I can see. Thus I conclude, this phrase is a scam. Do not believe in it.

Just a short post to digest myself from everything today
Am I emo you're asking? Well, yeah

-Signing off-

Tomorrow is gonna be a long long day

Out of boredom

2009-11-09T21:01:00.002+08:00

Hiya all,
Since I'm just too bored now and I have an internet line, I think I'm just gonna update this blog a little. Currently listening to the song "October" and well, I think it suits my current feeling and situation at this moment of time. To be frank, I do not know what I want to type when i started to get into this blog but well, urrh. It doesn't matter. I just need to find some things to do to make myself busy.

I think I need to wake up. I can't indulge myself into this slumber anymore. Sad to say, I failed in this because I got sick yesterday and up till today, I can't get my mechanism in my body to function well enough to wake up (I almost skipped todays lecture/tutorials) xD. So much for the 4.0 =.= Giving me the stress out of nothing.

On a brighter note, Chee cheng is coming to meet up with the Kampar gang on wednesday!! Well, it SHOULD be something to be happy about isnt it? Just hope I don't get some last-minute-oh-my-gosh-assignment-group-discussion or I'm gonna piss them off. XD

On the other hand, I believe that I can finally rest my case, with an open heart. I think this is the end of my story, playing this particular role which I want to play but lack the capabilities to do so. And, if you think this post is emo, do look at the older post. This is actually an emotionless post. Which I dont even know whether I should be happy or sad

-Signing off-

P/s :- If you realised, I didn't really post pictures in my blog anymore. Well, mainly it's because my camera phone have a 1.3mp camera. Which means, there's no point taking lame pictures with ugly resolution. Wait till I get a camera or a new phone

3rd-Week

2009-11-06T22:52:00.004+08:00

It's been my 3rd week being in my second trimester here in Kampar and well things are actually almost the same. The only difference is that my PC went turtling and my line is as usual, slower than anyone would have expected. Anyway, nothing much to post actually but I think I just have to post to keep this blog alive.

Things that I'd actually did for the past 3 weeks:-

Went for lectures and tutorial as usual.
Paid my fees, a whole sum of Rm xxxx.
Joined the boardgames club in UTAR (proud?).
Met some cute and pretty chicks (LoL).
I think I became stronger, physically and emotionally.

Just gotta keep pushing myself to the limits. I'm having a test in 2 weeks time and well, some lecturers are better known as photostating machine or a radio but well, lets give them time and see if there's any changes. Future things which would take place??

Andrew and Kelly's wedding!! Gosh I'm gonna miss this. Tomorrow :( Congrats anyway
Management test (Week 5)
Marketing test (Week 6)
Writing for business test (Week 6)

Uhhh, appreciate the time u have. You'll never know when would it be taken away from you. For some particular person, hope you're alright after tonight and continue to live life to the fullest!! Perhaps I'll end this post just like that. Not in the mood and I'm afraid that my line would go "buh-bai" again.

-Signing off-

Nothing to hope for but just that you're happy
If you are happy indeed, I'm satisfied!

Being ordinary

2009-10-27T16:49:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, I just wished to be ordinary.
Being all the same with the people around me
I ponder and ponder many times
Why I'd be the outstanding one?
It caused rather more harm than good

Enough said
I want to be ordinary

Kampar! I'm back

2009-10-22T23:27:00.006+08:00

Selamat sejahtera saya ucapkan kepada pembaca-pembaca blog saya yang setia ini =) Selepas kian lama menghilangkan diri di dalam blogger.com sejak seminggu yang lepas, aku amat gembira dan bangga untuk memberitahu anda semua bahawa saya telahpun kembali kepada dunia blogging ini. Aku amatlah merindui masa yang saya guna untuk blog tapi sejak seminggu yang lalu, aku amat sibuk apabila aku pulang ke Kampar bukanlah dengan P & P tetapi dengan mengayuh basikal dan tidur macam babi di rumah aku.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Greetings to my fellow loyal and supportive blog reader =). After being missing for about a week, I'm glad and is proud to say that I'm back to the blogging world. Had really been missing in blogging but I was extremely busy when I get myself back to Kampar but it wasn't because of my academics but it's basically with cycling, feasting on food and also dozing off aka sleeping like pigs in my room.

Uh, I tried my best to practice the 1Malaysia thing by writing in Bahasa. It seems that my Malay is getting bad and bad because I seemed to forget every single word. Even the word "busy" took me 30 seconds of recall. Sighs, but nevermind! It's a great start I must say. For the 'international' readers (which I believe there are none of them), in case you don't understand Malay, you can read the English subtitle in italic

Anyway, allow me to continue writing in English since I think I can write better and express my gratitude and feelings better in English. Well, I've actually finished week 1 of my second semester in the foundation course already. If you are wondering what's my timetable because you want to clash into my class on purpose or just to stalk me, here's my time table =). Uh, well the timetable is actually on top and not on the bottom. So, start scrolling!

Anyway, there's been ups and downs during this week and well, I do believe things happen for a reason and I'm glad that things turned out okay in the end too. To cut things short, there's but ONE thing for me to remember and cherish throughout the week. Not exactly a week but on the 20th October 2009. What day is that? Well, I think it's my birthday. Wasn't actually expecting much this year but things turned out great! Some of my ex-classmates actually did a birthday celebration for me. Was seriously shocked and happy (most of the time shy) at that time so I didn't talk much but I really do appreciate it. I'll let the picture do the talking from here.

Seems that I can celebrate Deepavali at the same time =)

Cake cutting

I just had some make-up by Gwee =) Did I mention it's free?

Zombie style, most of the girls don't want to be in the photo. Shy-nya

Seriously, thanks for the Tb-6-ers who came and spend your time although you people are having like 8am class the next day! Thanks!! And also, thanks to the SMS-es, Facebook messages and wall writing even from someone whom I never expect it to come from. Thanks ya all!! I'll try to list them down, but hopefully I dont miss anyone. If I do, sorry =(

Facebook
Cai Jun
Saki
Simon
Ting Yuan
Yen Yen
Zaki
Thomas
Zian Sing
Victor Chu
Jackie Oo
Louis chong (my "happy partner")
Jordan Chin
Andrew
Jonathan Kee
Philemon
Amin Haikal
Siew Wei
Mei Kuan
Nakhieeran
Daphne
Tjun Kong
Ibtihal
Allan Hoo
Lai May
Keith
Jackie Wong
Samuel Tong
Joan
Dandy
Eric
Shiau Suang
Jessica
Christine
Joshua Chan
Andy
Sambruce
June Ling
Thing Yin
Deric
Wai Keong
Joshua Chen
Joe Wai
Yuk Jing
Ian
Kok weng
Erlina
Hoe Yin
Seng Hoo
家慧 (don't know ur English name)
Seresuchie Kanderakaru Gurikupumod (this is even weird)
Wei Ken
Pei Vern
Yan Hoe
Jenson
Keh Guan
Kee Keat
Eemir
Yit Guan
Sai Kit
Syed Roshan
Abdul Halim
Aaron Oo
Joel Ho
Lu Yau
Hon Kit
Adwin Chow
Edward
Ms Devagi!! (My Accounting Lecturer/Tutor)

Phone Sms-es
Grace
Wei Yee
Tihn Chern
Chee Fei
Suet yin
Wei Hao
Kelsey
Ee Yen
Suzanne
Michelle
Jonathan
Sharon
Kar Kheng
Shing Yih
Henrina
Vivian

Phew, perhaps that's the list. There is actually some people in particular that I want to thank but I think it's not really the right place. Whoever you are, I believe you know who you are. Thanks for everything you had given to me all along. I'm really very glad with it. Thanks!! What's my birthday wish? Well, I'm not telling but continue guessing. You may strike a jackpot.

I guess that's all for now. The next time I'm blogging, I'm going to blog about, some random stuffs perhaps. Not really free these days due to my Pig-ism.

-Signing off-

P/s :- I love all of you!! If you understand what I mean. I mean you

Attire changed!

2009-10-12T08:20:00.003+08:00

Well, if you have normal eye sight like mine, you would realize that my blog changed it's attire since last night. Well, I kinda woke up too early in the morning with nothing to do, so I ended up looking around the net for some templates and well, I think I found a template of my favour. Therefore, I ended up spending the whole morning working on this template and this is the result of it. In case you still can't see whats different in my template, I'm posting it right here.

I changed my blog template and it had evolved from the ohsoblue template to the ohsoblack template as you can see as you are reading this post. Duh! Well, up to now, I'm satisfied with the outcome as I do not have much hazzle compared to the past time especially in retrieving information and linking blogs again and again but if I do miss you out in the blogroll, do post it up in the comment section. Not chatbox =)

Oh yeah, I can't seem to put the CSS code for borders for pictures as you can see in this post. Any good samaritan willing to help me out and insert the dumb border?? Had been trying for the past 30 mins and I can't find the correct position to put the code. Arrghh!! Well, will keep my readers updated in the future but not now because I'm lazy! Yes, I'm lazy. What do you expect? I'm in my SEM BREAK now so it's normal to be lazy.

- Signing off-

Sem 1 accomplished.

2009-10-09T15:57:00.002+08:00

Well, as stated in the title above. My sem 1 in my foundation course in UTAR is officially completed with the release of the results for the final examinations. What my results are? Well, I'm satisfied with it and I need not to expose it to anyone so you're not gonna know it. *evil laughs*. If you beg me good enough them maybe I'm gonna tell you but I doubt it'll happen.

I still remember my old post about some lame equations which goes like this
Work hard + work smart + luck = Success

Seems that its true as it's proven by me now. Mwahahaha .

Just a rather short post to fill in the blanks as I wait for someone to online although my eyes aren't feeling good now. Rubbed it too much I guess, typical red and watery eyes of mine would never be cured. Sighs. Oh yeah, I'm taking my undang test finally after delaying it for like 1 year? Hahaha, lets see how it goes bah

-Signing off-

Head or Heart??

2009-10-06T02:33:00.002+08:00

It'd been more than one week since my holidays after completing sem 1 of my foundation course in UTAR. Since it's a holiday, usually I'll just use up all the time I have in games of Dota, whatever it is, you name it and I'll be playing that game. Ironically, things doesn't go this way this time. I simply spent my time sleeping and lazing around because gaming ain't my passion anymore.

I prefer to go out and hangout with people and friends I have
I prefer to get out of my house and start doing things I'd never do
I prefer to spend my time on more realistic things and not virtual things

Despite all the things I actually wanted to do, I did none of them. Frankly, none of them, had I accomplished and did. The reason why? Well, I do not know of the reason causing things like this to happen. I do not know what is actually happening because there are a lot of things that my heart tells me to do, yet I didn't because my head tells me not to do. What do I actually want now? Should I follow my heart? or follow my head.

I always question myself why do I actually think so much before something is actually being done at all. Is there a need of an answer or the effect before an action is being carried out? Or sometimes reasons ain't important at all? I'm confused. Why am I always in the "different, unique or weird" category of people and not of the majority?

A quote that came into my mind when I was pondering upon many things just now

You can tell a child that the fire is hot and it'll burn,
but if the child don't touch fire himself/herself,
the child would never understand the meaning of 'hot' forever

-Signing off-

Back in Ipoh

2009-09-26T01:03:00.007+08:00

Well, after many weeks of studying and the 6 exams paper being completed since the past 2 weeks. I'm glad to say that I'm finally back in Ipoh for my semester break. Didn't actually count the days of how long I'll be back here in Ipoh but I'll most probably be here up till the 18th since my next sem starts at the 19th October. Which is, 1 day before my birthday. Great, seems that I'm celebrating my birthday in Kampar (not that I usually celebrate it in Ipoh either way).

Alright, so what am I up to since 2 days ago?
Well, due to the fact that my internet connection in Kampar is SO slow, of course, the first thing to do is to download everything I can and I want and this includes lots of songs, lots of videos and lots and lots of games. Oh yeah, did anyone tell you that I actually 'bought' myself a birthday present?

If not, well, I bought a PSP-3002 just few days back
Perhaps that explains why am I downloading so much *ahem*
I think you get what I mean anyway

Perhaps that's all for now, can't type much since what I do everyday is download, eat and sleep. I'm replaying Kingdom Hearts II also since Kingdom Hearts 358/2 is coming out followed by the one in the PSP. I'm gonna go ahead and finish all this when it comes out. At the meantime, let me finish Kingdom Hearts II again first.

Kingdom Hearts 358/2 days - Roxas' story

I think that's all for now, I'll continue to update this in the near future when there's anything worth remembering or perhaps when Aliens start attacking planet earth. That would be when you can be sure of a post in my blog

-Signing off-

Been days since we've parted
I'd missed every single moment we spent
The joy, sorrow, pain and enjoyment
That's what kept me moving on
I'll remember it forever and ever
I just want to let you know

I <3 U

P/s :- I'm still not used to use the PC in the living room. When I'm blogging, I felt like being watched and I certainly don't like this!

Your's or not?

2009-09-21T21:32:00.003+08:00

I've been thinking a lot these days on the recent happenings around. Perhaps I've been thinking too much or maybe I just enjoy thinking far beyond what I should actually think of. Sometimes I do wonder whether the principals which I held on all these years are correct, or wrong. Rather, I'm quite clear in some of the "realities" which are happening in the current world now

Had you ever gave your everything in something you want the most and end up getting none? All these while, I have the belief that nothing is impossible and as long as you do not give up, things would eventually fall into place if there's an effort being laid. But well, now I know whats the gospel truth behind that. It can be explained with only one phrase

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If it's meant to be yours, it'll be yours eventually no matter what happens.
If it isn't, sad to say that it'll never be yours no matter what you do.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think I've been taught this phrase the very harsh way. Harsh up till the extent of me not even able to stand up on my own feet once again but well, I think I've stood up now so everything is actually history. Life is like that sometimes.

Perhaps another phrase of mine would go like this

The good will always be the one left behind
The evil and cunning continues to move forward.

Is it the truth or not?
Well, I do not know but it seems to be true to me

-Signing off-

I'm okay

2009-09-21T12:13:00.003+08:00

Big apologies to my crazy post yesterday, wasn't in a good form I guess. Anyhow, everything had calmed down I guess and well, I can't say that I've recovered totally and is able to continue on without problem. Sometimes, things just can't be healed like this. It's just gonna be a scar in my life from now on. Sometimes, life is just unfair.

Things that you dislike and hate would come into your life one by one
Things in which u want and hope it'll come true, will never appear in your life at all

Perhaps that's the cruel fact of this world
To those who are wondering what am I talking about, (I know you people are blur). Yes, I'm facing this problem known as the BGR. If you understand it, then you'll probably understand. If not, well go google around. Sometimes, you just have to put in some effort to find out things.
One single fact which I'm very sure is this,
I'm not giving up this easily.
I'm going to continue moving on
Why?

I believe I need not to explain this anymore.
I've my reasons and it's very clear for me.

Life's tough,
Perhaps I should had gone back to the past and enjoy my kids' life

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One a brighter note,
The final paper for this trimester is this Wednesday(23/9/09)
After that, I'm getting out of this place for good
Perhaps I need a break too.

-Signing off-

Quotes representing me

2009-09-20T06:51:00.001+08:00

It's now 6.35am and the clock is still ticking.
I'm blogging now but it's not because I woke up too early,
it's just that I didn't sleep at all.
I do not know whether I should be happy or not from these circumstances
Being awakened from a dream I don't want to be awakened from.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes... just be an illusion."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Indeed, at this moment of time, I simply have no one to refer to anymore.
I used to have you to look and refer to when there are problems and ordeals
But it seems that it won't work in this case.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Who do you turn to when the only person who can stop you from crying,
is the one who is making you cry?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I really do not know whether I should be happy because I've met you or not.
For you really brought joy into my life, yet the worst sorrow I've ever faced.
Sometimes I do wonder, should I be happy or sad?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Should I smile because you're my friend, or cry because that's all you'll be?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You told me in many ways that you loved me.
I believed in it and I never doubted it.
But, what's the use of it now?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"So you love me, but you just don't want me?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Comparing with loads of people we've saw, everyone says that we match up well
Sadly, I've got to known you too late.
IF everything were to be earlier,
would the situation be better?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"We are the perfect couple, we're just not in the perfect situation."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just some quotes of sadness for those who share the same sorrow with me.
I have one more paper for my final examinations,
wish me luck in pursuing my target
Till then, good bye

-Signing off-

"If I had never met you.
I wouldn't like you.
If I had never liked you,
I would have never loved you.
If I had never loved you,
I'd never miss you.
But I did, I do, and I will."

Exams ahead!

2009-09-10T02:38:00.004+08:00

Had been wanting to update this blog these few days but I end up slacking off and falling asleep in the end. Anyway, I would be having my final exams from tomorrow onwards up to 23th of this month and then well, I'll be back in Ipoh! Hope to get hooked on with my friends in Ipoh when I get back and at the same time feeling sad because I won't be in the same class with most of my old Tb-6 classmates anymore ~~due to the screwed up system of UTAR~~

Went to Golden Sand with most of the Tb6-er and well, it might be the last

I've finally obtained all of my coursework marks.
Not very satisfied with it but well, it'll do well I guess and hopefully

Public Speaking - 42.1/50
Mass Comm - 34.1/40
Accounting - 32.3/40
Economics - 35.95/40
Computer - 33.2/40
English - 40.25/50

Conclusion of the coursework marks?
Well, to get A for all subjects, I need to score at least 80/100 for the final exam
Can't say that I'm ready for the exam but I think I've did my part
Just hope and pray that everything goes on well!
Or else, I'll go nuts and start jumping off from the second floor!
-Signing off-

To dream, to endure and to wait
Hoping for changes to take place
I can't imagine any possibilities ahead

But

I'll be right here waiting
Because I believe it's worth trying

Happy Birthday!

2009-09-02T08:55:00.004+08:00

It's been quite some time since I last updated and now I'm back with a dedication post for someone's birthday which obviously, falls today (2nd September 2009)
Who's that you're asking?
Well, it's

My mummy's birthday!! =)

Well, nothing much to write but I would like to dedicate this post to you.
Indeed, I know that being some 'annoying' kid in this family, I've caused a lot of problem
Thanks for being so patient in bringing me up until this stage. (I know its not easy)
Now that I'm away, perhaps it's time for me to carry on moving forward.
Thank you for everything you've done for me!!
I love ya!!!

Happy Birthday Mom!!

P/s:- Don't kill me cuz I've uploaded this picture coz I just realised that I do not have much pictures of you and me together. Sighs, really need to take some soon.

Calm before the storm

2009-08-26T01:42:00.005+08:00

Well, it's been a while (perhaps just a little while) since my last post and I'm glad to say that I'm still alive and happy here in Kampar. Currently undergoing my 13th week out of 14 week of studies and lecture and well, we are all now preparing for a war. Whats the war called? It's called end term exam. Hahaha. Anyway, to cut the crap, I've finished all assignments and presentation and I'm glad that it's over, for now ~~I'll have a whole load of crap assignments the next trimester~~

As usual, Tb-Sixers cam-whoring session after presentations are normal
Lets have a look at the pictures

My group for Computer studies (Xue Ying is missing though)

Jackie, Jeffery, Sharon and Hands(Wai Keong)

Some shoes (guess which is mine) -.-

Jeffery and S.H.E. =)

Uh, I know I'm lame but the camera-MAN is lamer :)

Anyway, as the title stated

The calm had begun
Students starts to get indulged in books
People like me starts to get lame and sick
All used to prepare themselves for this day
Final exam day

OK I'm crapping a lot
Seems that blogger doesn't want me anymore here so tata!

-Signing off-

Putting back everything aside
Patiently waiting for the day to come
Hoping for a change in everything
Surely, there would be no regrets

Letting go

2009-08-24T16:26:00.002+08:00

Perhaps this is the word which I should use to express myself now.
I do realise that sometimes, thing meant to be will always meant to be
Opposing it, things aren't meant to be will never meant to be yours.
Rather than to continue to pursue this particular 'pain'
Why not stop all this meaningless pain?

It ain't supposed to happen in the first place
Why did I put this meaningless dream into this particular picture?
Perhaps, this is the only way to solve this problem

I'm cruel?
Well, perhaps so. But this is the only way to stop things from happening again.

-Signing off-

Now it's time to face the truth
I will never be with you
-----------------------------------
Now that it had come into this situation
All that I can say is "I love you"
Sorry for the trouble I've caused
It's time to end everything

Simplicity

2009-08-24T00:21:00.002+08:00

Simplicity mainly exist in the mind of the young and also babies
As for us teen and adults, simplicity is something which would never exist in our life
Somehow, I do wonder what would happen if everything in this world is so simple that it's either

Yes or No
Right or Wrong
Joy or Sorrow

How good would it be if everything on earth would be this simple.
By having this kind of simplicity, one wouldn't have to waste so much time on hopeless questions
I wouldn't have to think so much either on so many things happening around me
Just a short post this time to allow me to continue thinking
*smiles*

-Signing off-

Pondering upon the midnight star
Hoping for the best to reveal far
But if it doesn't happen
What ought can ever be done?